you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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