were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
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Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
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I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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