I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize