you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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