So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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