You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
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Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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