They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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