am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Someone shit on the floor
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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