I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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