Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize