i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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