I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we're making bets on your personal life
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize