I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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