Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize