Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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