Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Boobs speak an international language.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize