Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize