I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize