I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize