Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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