I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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