I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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