how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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