So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize