If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just cut my nipple shaving
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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