I wish I could teleport
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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