What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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