At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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