I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize