Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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