Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to

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  (269): Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to http://tfl.nu/vc1c
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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  (303): We took shots in honor of Shark Week. http://tfl.nu/tloc
  Replies (19) Good night (7531) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously

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  (757): apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously http://tfl.nu/dgt5
  Replies (19) Good night (756) Bad night (4885) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...

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  (734): I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come... http://tfl.nu/n638
  Replies (56) Good night (3988) Bad night (2153) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.

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  (217): I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list. http://tfl.nu/jt04
  Replies (6) Good night (3743) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys

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  (512): I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys http://tfl.nu/o25e
  Replies (10) Good night (2045) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums

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  (678): I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums http://tfl.nu/28yn
  Replies (9) Good night (1450) Bad night (1258) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though

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  (708): we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though http://tfl.nu/249z
  Replies (4) Good night (2472) Bad night (505)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.

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  (623): I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me. http://tfl.nu/we23
  Replies (5) Good night (1296) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  You sound pretty unsure about all of this.

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  (720): I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses. (1-720): You sound pretty unsure about all of this. http://tfl.nu/jh6b
  Replies (5) Good night (2261) Bad night (567)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.

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  (513): We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit. http://tfl.nu/qhz6
  Replies (2) Good night (1917) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"

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  (636): Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!" http://tfl.nu/8gr1
  Replies (9) Good night (1765) Bad night (786)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.

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  (505): He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise. http://tfl.nu/7qvp
  Replies (8) Good night (2024) Bad night (798)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.

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  (603): Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on. http://tfl.nu/oqbv
  Replies (1) Good night (858) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear

  (310): View more from California

  We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.

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  (310): The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear (310): We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics. http://tfl.nu/35z2
  Replies (6) Good night (1045) Bad night (379)

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