I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
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Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
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Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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