it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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