i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize