UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize