I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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