My liver just broke up with me...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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