did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Every concussion has its silver lining
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize