Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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