its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize