I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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