No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize