You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
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Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
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just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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