I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
foreskin is a definite game changer
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize