put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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