If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
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Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
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Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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