i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Say something about gay babies.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize