currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
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No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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