yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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