Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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